i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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