I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
