It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize