I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
