I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
