Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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