There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
