Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize