our cab driver is having phone sex.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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