would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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