He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
