well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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