Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We are two peas in an std pod
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
