She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
