hell yes lets make some ravioli
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
