just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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