I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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