Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
