that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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