Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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