You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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