nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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