I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
