My sheets look like a crime scene.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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