Dual....:-)
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
