On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
