return my video game
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
