The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
