We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
