I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
