Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
