his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
