So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
