all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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