areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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