Cold hands, warm shart.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
