sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
