the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
