FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
