We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
