I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
