I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
