there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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