If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
