I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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