we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize