A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
