Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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