I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
