the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wear drunk well.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
