U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just invented taco cereal.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Randomize