Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
