sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
