Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Send help, water and tortillas.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
