dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
