You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
