Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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