you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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