What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
