Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize